What was it about today that has me so happy? My son is doing fantastic in school, I survived the trip to and from work in ice ring conditions.. literally since there were kids out on the streets actually ice skating and the ice causing all the schools to be closed.
I got my office packed into boxes so that I can have my new desk installed tomorrow. I’ve even finished officially with the chiropractor! I have a thoughts list I managed to do a bit of editing to on the way home and yet, I don’t really want to write but to keep up on the daily challenge I must write. The start of this whole thing I was so gung ho to do it I spent a couple days getting a total of 13 posts done and here it is day 14 and I have no energy left to do more writing even with topics to write on for each site, a side project for learning 3 new CMS systems plus a renewal of learning and updating my HTML & CSS skills with the seriously exciting potential to take certifications for each one!
I want to write. I want to learn. I want to move forward with my life once more, finding a job that I do well AND enjoy but *I* am the one and the only one holding ME back this time. A lack of self esteem or a serious revulsion to “tooting my own horn” publicly. I can advocate or help others get a job or cheer lead others through life challenges but I just don’t do it for myself! WHY? What is it about saying “Hey, look at me I’m great!”? I know I can do many things but I will rarely speak out and say “I can do that!”
So here I am and yes, I can do that but I think this is my “safe zone” to say it. I can explain things I know, I can write tutorials about a lot of topics, I can use lots of various software, I am vaguely shy about it all but I can do all that and many other things!
Right now the book that comes to mind amusingly is an old children’s book called “Put me in the zoo”. It’s about a talented spotted cat like creature that can change it’s colors, spots, juggle the spots and wants to live in the zoo but the place for it is really the Circus! I am in the zoo and need to find my circus! I’d better be careful of what I wish for though!